Ashtead. Quite Possibly the greatest large village/commuter town/London surburb in the United Kingdon. Ashtead has population of 13,494 and boasts three pubs, a duck pond and a recently opened Tesco Express. Oh, and Joe Strummer
went to school in Ashtead. Cool or what? To get there its Junction 9 on the M25. Please drive carefully thorugh our village.
6 year old child: Mum, can we go to Ashtead instead of Disneyland for our summer holidays this year?
Mum: Oh, alright then but only as a treat.
Dad: Darling have you paid the car insurance? We are driving thorugh Ashtead.
The emotion you feel after you have just been happy slapped by some chav whilst on tube/bus. Often followed by the thoughts 'Where the fuck is my fucking dagger'.
Chav1: Hahaha i got im
Chav2: Yes mate....
Average nice guy: Fucking Barsteds
Chav3: Yes mate....
Average nice guy: I'm feeling rather Vexed with your thoughtless cruel acts upon me and the rest of the public. You should be ashamed.
Chav2: init mate
Average nice guy: Where the fuck is my fucking dagger?
Chav1: Your a faggot mate
Average nice guy: oh, here it is!! *STAB* *Chavs die*
This is the repeating of Borat
quotes until they are not funny anymore. OK I admit the film was pricelessly funny but honestly yeah....do you really need to repeat the whole film?
Borat inpersonator: Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp, some like to make the jam, but the most fun is to a kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip them up with wild dog. HAHAHAHAHHHAA
Bob: I've seen the film. Do I detect a hint of Boratation?
Borat inpersonator: Boring sod.
To be Worby or feel Worby means that you are confused or just plain sleeping with your eyes open and have no awareness of the world around you until someone says "Do you think he's ok?". Worbyness often occurs after heavy night out binge drinking and/or doing illegal drugs - but then again some people are born with it.
Ian: Alright Dan, I would like you too meet my good friend Alex.
Dan: Hiya mate.
Alex: *stands motionless with eyes open freakishly*
Dan: Ian, is he alright he looks like he's just taken crate's worth of ritalin and disolved it in Horlicks.
Ian: Crap, he's doing it a again. He's always a bit Worby - he was born with it.
Dan: Poor guy.
What one would say in one's company in the morning of a glorious sunny day in Buckinghamshire, England.
Sup Jeeves, how are you feeling this fine morning? After I butter your scone would you like me to fetch your 'Fox Hunting monthly' magazine and open it to the 'letters' page?
The Discombobulated Shady Knick-Knack is a rare goat-like animal that is found on the high mountain slopes of the Scottish Mountains. When at its most confused, the Knick-Knack spins around in circles for approximately two minutes and then goes on a rampage to eat Cairngorm Snow Haggis’s. The minerals found in Cairngorm Snow Haggis’s helps the Knick-Knack grow a thick white furry coat that’s helps keep it warm when temperatures drop to a chilly -27°C.
Due to less oxygen on top of some of the hills the Knick-knack’s lungs are able to take bigger breaths to absorb as much oxygen as possible. The feet of the Knick-Knack are wide so the feet do not sink into the snow whilst chasing Snow haggises.
Knick-Knacks can be seen all year round in the Scottish Highlands but are particularly common in the winter months where the Knick-knack has been known to eat the unfortunate winter hill-walker or ice-climber with its razor sharp sabre-tooth teeth. Since modern hill-walking gear has got tougher over the years the Knick-Knack has developed sharper teeth so it can tear through the most Gore-Texed jacket on the market.
Physiatrist: You seem to be shivering alot. Whats wrong? Are you cold?
Non-Scottish person: I-I-I got chased down Ben Nevis by a Discombobulated Shady Knick-Knack.
Physiatrist: Christ, he will never recover.
Pubic hair that gets trapped underneath the foreskin.
Girlfriend: When I went for a piss this morning, why did a clump of hair come out?
Boyfriend: Oh sorry, that must have been my fore hair from yesterday.