Patently unhelpful tech jargon, of a pretentious and/or unintelligible sort. Language used by a computer nerd who is attempting, unsuccessfully, to communicate with a layperson about computers or technology matters. Often characterized by circumlocution and jargon. Difficult to impossible to comprehend.
This is the condition of miraculously looking super cute at precisely the same time as you are exhausted and confused.
Laura was looking totally GROGEOUES when I saw her outside the bus station last night, even though she hadn't slept for three days and she was seeking directions to the hostel from severalpeople who don't speak English.